Motherland

One of the famous Persian bloggers invited other bloggers to write “what is the mother land?” Several Iranian bloggers answered his invitation.I like to write about this as well.

elepehens, lions, bears ,bees, squirrels etc are all, bias about their territories and they try to keep it safe from other opponents attack. Humans are not exception to this instinctive behaviour. We humans became civilized 7000 years ago and based on our instinct we separate our territories and make the world map as it is today. Asia, Africa, Europe,… continents are all made by the eager of humans to keep their territories. We fight, killed each other just like any other animals. But as a more developed creature we put more to it: choosing a flag for our territory and call it our motherland then fight for our dignity and so on and on.

But you know what, simply if some one asks me where your motherland is? I will definitely reply Iran. For me the motherland is the place that I grow up in and I know every detail of its culture. The place that I read about its history at school; The place that I read about great men who brought grand things to it; the place that I talked to other people with my mother tongue; The place that I know the all slang common between the young; the place that I know its traditions, its customs and I am not minority in. Even if you migrate to another land and be flexible enough to mix up with the new society again the traditions of new land is not yours. for instance Christmas songs doesn’t have the same feeling for you as it has for those who grow up with these songs and each part of it remind them of something in their past or childhood.

Just don’t get me wrong I don’t want to be sentimental. Plainly your motherland is the place you grow up there even if you hate it. I think there is no such thing that each person is very responsible for his/her mother land. I don’t think your motherland is necessarily the best place to live in or have the most peace in. You as a human – smart creatures on the earth- were born on a special geography of the world map that we created it ourselves. After that since you grow up there, several ties to the place and people who live there (country mate) came to picture and make that place your motherland. You can leave it or stay and devote yourself to it but if you ask me it is simply optional. It doesn’t matter where you are, all these borders are made by us. Wherever you are just being aware what you want and how you can reach it. Be useful and love all people.

Geek Stuff

A: I got stuck, I am the stupidest in the world, I can’t find the answer ever, and I really feel bad.
B: Are you a graduate student?
A: How did you know!!!!
There are common symptoms for this kind of disease, “being a graduate student”. Doing a research is tough but more than that is to learn how to do it. You need to be patient and at the same time you should avoid being too picky. You need to be aware where you are and try not to diverge from the main research stream, which is the supervisor responsibility to watch you not getting lost (if they bother).
You are going ups and down all the time; they are some times that you feel the lowest IQ in the world is yours, you can’t do anything and completely stuck.
This is to all other graduate students of the world if you have the same feeling don’t worry. This is the same for every other one. Depends on their personality some grads show it and some don’t. All of us feel unsure many times during our research program. Good luck to all of us.

First Nest

We finally bought a house. It was more than a month that Nima and I were looking for a house and finally we found one. We just sign everything an hour ago and came back. We are still excited…it will take us more time to sink in.
This is our first house…

Autumn, School, Classmates...

The weather is cooling down these days here in Toronto; the trees are gradually getting colored yeah autumn is coming. Autumn always reminds me of my school years. When I was a teenager I had always loved summer for obvious reason, no school. But each year at the end of the summer there was a song “hello classmate”, shown on national TV, and it was a real motivation for me to back to school. The song was about going back to school and say hello to your classmates, lab lablab…
I remember that the big challenges for parents who had first grade kids to sent to school was to convince them that school is not a prison and no one waiting for them with axe…I remember cute first grade kids with one or two missed teeth, crying or exciting. Good memories.
Sometimes I feel I miss to be in classroom again, with my classmates and teachers. After 20 years of being in school, at the start of the autumn I still feel I should get ready for something. Anyway it all finished now.

I am going back to St. John’s this coming Saturday, but the good thing is that I will return in October which is Nima’s birthday. I really like to surprise him somehow not just with presents. I was thinking to…It’s better not to write my mind here incase that Nima read this post. :)

Loyalty

There is something that I don’t understand at all. Why some spouses/couples betray each other?
I really don’t get this. I am talking about normal situation, once there was a happy couple, deep in love with each other after a while say 5, 6 years one of them start having a secret affair with someone else and finally his/her secret revealed and they got divorced and the one who was betrayed suffer a lot from that tragic experience. Why???
How one can do such things to her/his spouse?
There could be some very special situation that you sympathy with the one who betrays, such as this scenario, 14 years old girl has to marry 70 years old man because of tradition (whatever) after 5, 6 years she grew up and understood what her parents did to her. She hated her husband that could be her grandfather, and after a while she fell in love with a young man lablab… but here forget about such a rare situation. I am talking about the typical story.
I can understand that two people in love , after a while stop loving each other for what ever reasons, but what is she/he thinking to start having hidden relationship??? If you get tired of your married life, that’s ok first finish this one and then start another. If you miss being in market again, go ahead, but just before that let your spouse know about your feeling. It’s his/her right after those years you two spend together.
What is the point of hidden relationship, I don’t get this! Maybe the one who betrays, don’t want to ruin his/her marriage until she/he fell confident about the second one.
The moment one of the couple start betraying, the marriage comes to an end, after that it is just matter of time that another one discover the truth.
You know I think when it comes to such a things, it doesn’t matter how deep the secret relationship is! If they just talk on the phone! If they go further! Any touches involve!
No I think what really matters is that one is able to cheat on a person who trusts him/her so much; who loves him/her so much.
It is so heartbreaking. The one who left, behind this bitter experience, really suffer a lot.
We don’t have to get married if we think we are not a long term commitment person. No one put a gun on our head. If we get married and after a while we feel we don’t want this married life anymore, which is ok, let the other one know! And get divorced then do what ever you like. for the sake of all those sweet days you two spend together, for the sake of the moment you two were in love and sign those papers, for the sake of the kids if you have, show a little respect.
Above all what annoyed me more is that some people try to show, this is not a big deal. This is a big deal! How come cheating on the one who trust you so much, is not a big deal? This trend can end to the society with no emotional security.
I think forming a family in the classic way is one the best achievements of the humans. I always appreciate what my parents did for me. I always appreciate what I learned in my family. I hope when the world changing everyday and making new rules and everything, we humans don’t ruin our valuable achievements just because they seem old.

S.O.S

One thing that really irritates me is to see dead squirrels and raccoons in highways. Here in Toronto there are many poor dead squirrels and raccoon on the road. The point is that this is us that interfere in their environment. We humans destroyed the forests and come into the world of these poor creatures and cause them death under the wheels of our car. This is not really fare.
There should be a way to reduce the number of attack; it is also much safer for us. I know it’s hard to stop the car or sometimes slow it dawn when suddenly one of these squirrels or raccoons appears in front of us, but if we can do it we should.
Here, it says that in Britain they put Rope Bridge in different part of the country to let he squirrels cross the busy roads and the good news is that, it is working. How about other courtiers try the same thing!!

I finally did it

After 27 years, I finally pierced my ears, yessssssssss. I don’t know exactly why I have never pierced my ears when I was a little girl. I think my fear of the possible pain was much higher than my eager to wear the earring. I got used to see my friends’ surprised faces when they figured out that my ears are intact. I remember one of the main issues for my wedding was to find a proper sticking earring for a bride, funny ha. But I did it!
See don’t get it wrong, I didn’t became suddenly brave, I put anesthetic cream all over my ears for an hour and then headed to Clair’s, chose my birth stone as the first earring , then a nice lady explain all the procedures for me, and finally the stones were shot to my ears. I felt nothing, nice trick ha. I think the hard part is that I ought to remember the presence of the earrings. I have to wear the earrings for 8 weeks without removing them and also clean my ears 3 times a day. But that was a kind of achievements.

Here is your paradise

Lat Tuesday I came to Toronto to stay with Nima for a month, it will be the longest period that we two are together after our wedding. Like usual I am working all the day till Nima back home. These last five weeks at St. John’s the weather was great. Newfoundland has fabulous nature, beautiful beaches and jungles. I had a chance to go to Salmon cove beach, about 120km away from St. John’s. The place is amazing; there are several small islands so close to the beach that makes the views incredible. Allover the islands, seabirds make nests. Actually when I try to get to one of the islands the birds showed warning and aggressive gestures which made me back away. There is a very nice trail goes around the beach and covers with trees, berries, etc. the trail has a great overlook to the ocean. I think heaven must be something like that. I put some photos here; enjoy the beautiful Newfoundland’s nature.

Signal Hill’s overlook to Atlantic Ocean

Gorgeous isn't it :).

The Little Prince

One of the most beautiful book I have ever read is The Adventure of Little Prince. This YouTube video is the frist part of the cartoon based on the book that I used to watch on our national TV in Iran. The cartoon is not following the book but the overall idea is the same. The book is so lovely and simple. The little prince is just a pure person that means what ever he says. The cartoon is also so positive. One of my favorite parts is chapter 21, the conversation between fox and the little prince where the fox said “tame me”. Let me put some part of the conversation here:

“But if you tame me …I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow.” fox said.

he used to believe that there is just one rose in the entire world and it’s his he was disappointed when he discovered garden of roses identical to the one he had on his own planet, but when the fox told him about the idea of tame he said to the roses:

“You are not at all like my rose… No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world…You are beautiful, but you are empty…an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you, the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe …Because she is my rose.”

You know it is true in our everyday life, for example when you buy a house there are millions other houses that would seems more beautiful than what you have, and this idea can prevent you from buying anything as you are always worry that maybe better one is just a ahead, but you know what it doesn’t matter how many gorgeous houses are out there the one that you like this moment is unique since you tame it…I hope you don’t get puzzled..:)))

My biggest Wish

I wish the technology could provide very fast airplanes for ordinary people that could fly from here to my hometown in 1 or 2 hours. Then it was so easy to get back home, and visit my parents and all those who I love so much every weekend.

It’s just so hard to visit your family once in a year, I keep missing my family’s birthday, I keep missing how my niece grows up. I am missing my best friends’ company…

I bet there are many people out there to have the same wish as me, more and more people are migrating to other places and left their beloved ones behind.

Thus dear dear engineers, would you please make my wish come true as soon as possible!!

Before committee meeting , After committee meeting

Whenever I have a meeting with my supervisor committee, I feel I don’t now anything. I mean it you know. Nima always tells me that I am exaggerating about my weaknesses. I don’t know about exaggeration but that feeling is quite right.

Some times at the middle of the meeting I feel I am among the aliens and they are talking strange language that I don’t understand it. You know, it’s like you stand close to the group of people who are taller than you thus they can see scenes that you can’t. You jump up and down to be able to see and at the end you just feel frustrated.

I hate this feeling, to be suspended in the air and don’t know exactly where you are standing of your research’s path. How much close you are to finish it?

I used to be a good student during my bachelor and master years at university. I can’t become suddenly stupid, can I?

Knowledge is the key to all this lack of understanding, a key to understand the aliens’ language. I have a feeling that I should just carry on, and one day not so far away there would be a flash of light that brightens everything and makes me laugh to this post. I cross my finger for that day.

Montreal Trip-Part III

Nima and I went to Quebec City on July 3rd. It is about 230 km from Montréal to Québec city. This city is one of the oldest settlements in North America. Almost everyone there speak French. I heard that people there are kind of biased toward their language and if you are not be able to speak French they don’t bother to speak English. Anyway we stayed there only for a day and I found those who we were in contact with quite friendly.

Here in Canada, each province distinguished its automobiles’ license plate with a short sentence. For example you can see “Beautiful British Colombia” on those cars got licensed in BC. In Québec the sentence is “ Je me souviens” which means “I remember”. Nima told me that the meaning has something to do with English people overcome French people in Canada. I red in Wikipedia that the full quotation is "Je me souviens que né sous le lys, je croîs sous la rose" ("I remember that born under the lily, I grew under the rose" -- referring to the floral emblems of France and England), but this is undocumented. It is also taken by many to mean "I remember my French history and heritage" or, even, "I remember what the English did to the French".

We visited very beautiful Petit Champlain district, which is considered as Canada’s birth place. The city looks more like European cities, especially along Petit Champlain with narrow streets and hanged flowers on the walls.
For lunch we went to cozy restaurant. The way the waitresses dressed up and the restaurant decorations made us feel that we went back in time for 100 years.

Anyway it was our first trip together, and both of us enjoy our time. I certainly recommend Montreal and Québec city to anyone who has a chance to get there.

Montreal Trip-Part II

One of the most interesting exhibitions I have ever attended was made at Montreal science center. It was an exhibition named BODY WORLD 2, which was about a human anatomy. There were several bodies of men and women who devoted their bodies to science to be used after their death. The exhibition was hold before in Europe and Asia. It was amazing. Unfortunately we weren’t allowed to take any pictures but I do recommend you to visit the website and look at the documents they provided there. It was kind of strange feeling to think that the body you are looking at by interest was belong to real person who was alive some times ago.

Anyway, Nima and I also went to Montreal botanic garden. The garden was so pretty, including Japanese, Chinese, French, and English Garden. I was astounded buy the miniature scale of Japanese garden. As far as I understood they used to have a lake inside the garden full of the colorful fishes called life flowers. In Chinese garden there were several trees in pot. First I thought these miniature tress can’t grow up furthered but our guide correct me that because they are forced to be grown up in the little pot they formed the miniature copy of their natural size. One of the trees in the pot was about 200 years old. I upload several photos from botanic garden, including miniature trees and life flowers.

Let's see the rest of the pictures in part III.

Montreal Trip-Part I

Nima and I went to Montreal for a week (last long weekend + three days off). It was awesome. Montreal is the second-largest city in Canada and the largest city in the province of Quebec. Most of the people there, speak French and you can feel the difference between people behavior in Montreal and Quebec with those who leave in English Canada.

I found Montreal more alive than those cities I used to leave in during these years (St. John’s and Toronto). Some of the shops at downtown are open until 9:00 PM and the downtown’s streets are really crowded. We were lucky since at the same time we were there, 28th Jazz festival was hold in Montreal for 11 nights and day which make the city more crowded and alive. The festival was hold by different musical bands in open spaces all over the main downtown streets.

We made a visit to Old Montreal which is the oldest part of the city. There we visited Notre-Dame Basilica the church which is made in 1672. Inside Notre-Dame there are several beautiful paintings all over the roofs and windows. Several tourists were inside the church and were taking the photos.

Montreal downtown is full of shops and restaurants with tables placed outside in open spaces. We found an Italian restaurant with wonderful pizza, very tasty which is not common here in Canada. Honestly I found Iranian pizza style more delicious than Canadian.

I like to share some of the beautiful photos we have taken from Montréal with you. Here is the part I which shows some photos from Notre-Dame and St Joseph church in Montreal.

Why?????

Yesterday I recieved a bad news that two of my friends are getting divorced. When my husband told me that, we were both shocked. I could not believe him. They were so in love with each other, a great couple that we always mentioned them as an example of successful couple. The first time that I met them they told me about their love story that how they met for the first time, very interesting and passionate story.

I still can’t believe they are going to get divorced. I heard different reasons, that why they want to be separated but none of them make sense to me. None of them are serious enough to convert the great romantic life to such an ending point.

It’s like 4 years that they have got married, and last and first time I saw them was last year. They gave Nima (my husband) and me series of small size books about secret of success in love. They were so nice and energetic. And now…

I can’t believe, I don’t want to believe…GOD please stop this…

Raccoon in the waste bin

One of my major passions is animals. I do love animals specially mammals. During my childhood I used to keep different pets, especially dogs which are my first favorite animals. I think each individual animal has his/her own character just like us; some of them are shy, or quiet, loud,etc.
When I was a little girl, my grandfather has a big garden and there were always several dogs there to guard the place. I used to go deep inside the garden with my gang of dogs, which I used to choose a name for each myself. We were really good friends, I had a good understanding about their character, what they need what they are trying to say. They were just like my friends with another language; they weren’t just a dog for me. Any way but I think maybe being in contact with animals from childhood make me a big fan of them.

Yesterday (Sunday, June 24) I went to Erindale park with my husband for walking and on the way back we heard something is moving in the waste bin. Then we discovered that a small raccoon (not a mature one) was get stuck in a waste bin and can’t come out of it.

His face was so cute and there was no fear in his eyes but just a bit frustration of trying to get out. I wasn’t sure if I can pet him or not, (I think I was braver when I was a little girl who didn’t care about the risk of being bitten). Finally we tilted the bin and he came out very slowly and walk toward the trees. I wish I could have pet him. Nima (my husband) took a picture of him.

We really miss you

Today I received the bad news that one of my previous teachers at Tehran University passed away, Dr Mehdi Ghalibafian. I had a course with him on the third year of my bachelor years. He was a very famous teacher , very knowledgeable, very polite and gentle. Can't say more "God bless his great soul"

I am so happy

These days the St. John’s weather warms up and it is just perfect, with 22-23 degree. I really enjoy walking from home to office and back. There is the trail that I am walking through every day and the path is pretty nice with a river passing along.

I love dandelions, those circular yellow flowers growing everywhere. They look so vivid and give a lot of positive energy to me. I put some photos of this trail.

This is a perfect life: beautiful trail to pass along every day, thousands dandelions smiling at you every where, listening to birds singing and to river, and enjoying the weather.

I am simply sooooooooooooooooo happy.

Traditional Iraninan Concert at St. John's

One of my friend’s parents came here to visit him few weeks ago. His father is a musician, and he is playing Setar and Kamanche and he is expert in traditional Iranian music.

Yesterday (Monday June 4th), he had a casual concert at music building on campus. Most of the small Iranian society members showed up and also local people who were interested in.

I am not really fan of traditional Iranian music, I just like some of them but I was curious to see what other people think. At the middle of the concert, one of my non-Iranian friend (John) asked, why one song is so long? I couldn’t help laughing as I remembered the related joke.

But generally everyone found the concert very interesting, but it seems some people preferred Setar to Kamanche. As John said it sounded like the angry female cat.

But another non-Iranian friend, Bob, seems to like it and said you should let your ears get used to it. that's a Good advice for me!!

What's going on in your mind???

Tomorrow is the final part of my comprehensive exam. I only need to calm down. Enough pressure for last few weeks. You know after study different subjects I understood there are lots of stuff that I don’t know much about.

It’s amazing how we human beings developed models to simplify the world surrounding us. Going deep into the details of complicated formula and using different ways to solve differential equations to explain how a simple shell structure behave… there are several books more than 500 pages each just to explain some of these behaviour…

I used to believe the world is based on a simple basic rule and then everything just comes up from that and not more. Definitely I don’t know what’s that simple rule is. You know now I understand what Einstein meant when he said “I am not interested in the details of this or that phenomenon I want to know what is going on in God’s mind when he created the world.

Give your mind a break

Tomorrow is my comprehensive exam part I. I am practicing my proposal but each time when I am reaching to few end slides I a so tired that I can’t hear my voice properly. I hope my voice rise up a bit tomorrow.

my mind really needs a break, last night I thought it’s going to be exploded so I turn on the TV and switch to kids channel and gave my mind a short break with a simple cartoon about little bear and his parents (mother bear and father bear). No conflict nothing to think about, sometime we really need such stuff. Be simple like a child.

Anyway, wish me luck…

SUNNY DAY OUTSIDE

I am in Toronto now. Studying full time everyday, I am preparing myself for the part one of my comprehensive exam, which will be held on May 24th.

I am a bit nervous about it, but that’s ok I will be alright. The weather outside seems perfect, sunny 16 degree. It’s really tempting I love to go out and run but I have to stay inside and study.

Home is now my office and from where I am sitting I have a great overlook to the city of Mississauga. At this moment, I can a see a woman laying on couch and getting tan.

Anayway,….

Borign and Drawing

2:47 Newfoundland time, Saturday afternoon I am working in my office. Actually it is my every Saturday schedule. I have a strong motivation for working hard, and finishing my PhD as soon as possible, that's joining my husband at Toronto.

I have my comprehensive exam ahead; it must be held in less than two months. But before that I will go to Toronto and stay with Nima (my husband) for three weeks. In fact this will be the longest period after our wedding that we two are together.

These days I am so busy with writing my proposal. I hope I can finish it through this weekend. Sounds boring ha!
Whenever I feel bored I start drawing different things on any papers around me, I remember I have had this habit since high school. Most of the time I draw a face of little girl with broad smile, ready to embrace the whole world and dreaming about intact piece of land, covered in green grasses and beautiful flowers. (Since I am the one who drew this little girl I know what’s going on in her dream, trust me.)

I have my camera here and I can take a picture of my drawing . Here it is!