It has been in my head for a while to write about different people who came to my book of life and affected me in a positive or negative way. I believe we should dare to talk about what we think of each other more often. I believe we should be more open to hear what other think about us. People come and go, some scratch us, some leave a deep scare, some heal our old wounds made by other and some just pass by like the air, no influence nothings. Every relationship that we make is like a fruit, some are sweet, some are sour, some are bitter like a bitter melon, and some are tasteless. I want to write about people who has influenced me in a positive or a negative way.
I always think every individual has a patience bowl. something like a balloon (expandable you know). Every time we made acquaintance with someone automatically we designate a spot inside that bowl under that person's name. As we get a long if that person does something that we don't like his/her balloon grows. If the person keep annoys you the balloon tagged his/her name will explode and that's a day that you just had enough and cant take it anymore. Now if you want to designate new balloon to that person, or you want to cut the relationship is your decision.
I want to start with a friendship that I ended up for the first time in my life. When I was younger I would never even think of braking up with anyone let alone cutting the relationship for good (I am talking about simple friendship not romantic stuff). But at the age of 25 for the first time in my life I reached to the point of explosion. The balloon exploded and I knew I would never designate another balloon for that person. I learned something knew about myself. I saw my limits. After years of friendship I felt I am fed up. I don't want to make a list of things and events that ended my friendship. All I can say is that we were totally different people , different personality with few things in common. I find that person very jealous. This former friend of mine told me once that everything she/he achieved in her/his life is because there was always someone around that make her/him jealous. She/he studied/worked hard to be ahead of that person. years passed that I realized I can't change his/her character. I am wasting a precious energy and time on someone who is not a friend but a pathetic competitor. I was tired of dishonest attitude, bitter tongue, continuous jealousy, constant competition in every things, studying, career, social life, etc. After 7 years I had enough. I killed the relationship and never regret it for a second. What I really regret is that I wish I would spend all those years with a real friend. I did make very good and close friends within those years but I wish I wouldn't wasted my energy, heart, time on some who didn't worth a penny of my friendship. What that event changed in me is that I became very impatient and alarmed toward similar attitude from people. Now if I see anything slightly similar I would never consider getting close in first place. Now is this a bad or a good thing. I don't know. Should I blamed that relationship for being less patient or it would happen to me anyway as I grow older. I don't know.
...to be continued