Friday, December 16, 2011

Beyond A Reasonable Doubt

We can afford to have a criminal, walking freely in the street but we can not afford having an innocent person behind the bars.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011


I am shocked. Everyday there is a new bad news related to Iran and it is getting even worse. I am worried about my people. The nice Iranian who haven't had a single day of peace for the last 30 something years.
I am worried. But it's not going to help my people.
I read in a news about "The attack on the British Embassy in Tehran". THIS IS A SHOW. These are not ordinary Iranian people. These are BASIJI, a paramilitary militia who get order from Islamic Regime. Who unleashed them this time???
They don't represent Iranian not even close. But we don't represent ourselves either. Iranian came to street 33 years ago wishing for freedom and ended up with Islamic regime. Iranian came to street two years ago with their heart broken of lies and frauds, screamed for freedom again. Several civilian imprisoned or killed, the president called people " angry hooligans" who can't face the election loss.

Sanctions one after another make people's life miserable. Those who can immigrate they don't hesitate and those who stuck in there are doomed to bear all these sanctions either from the regime or from international forces.
The irony is many of those who are part of the Islamic regime in Iran come and find shelter here in Canada or other countries. Many of them are here in Toronto, buying luxurious houses. This is disgusting. This is unfair. But who makes things fare. Not someone from the sky it has to be ordinary people like me, like you, If we feel things are not justice.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Mailman finally came to our door. Brought me my offer letter. I am changing my job, I am taking a new path in my career. I am simply happy. I was smiling all day for no reason. I know no where is perfect but I am certain it was just on time to leave my current work. It was doing no good to my career anymore, just waste of time and talent. I am ready to step in a new path. Wish me luck.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Farewell Debbie

My colleage has been killed in a car accident last saturday. Today in the office when her close freind called and gave us a news we were all shocked. ""Debbie had a car accident she couldn't make it". Another colleague of mine said. I was in a lab playing with some rock cores.
The irnoy is always and always in response to " goodbye Debbie"  she would say "Drive Safe".
I miss her. She was a sweet sweet girl. A single mom. What would happen to her son?
rest in piece Deb. I miss you.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

How happy are you at work? What kind of reasons give you stresses? Deadlines? Jerk manager? Jerk co-workers? Load work? Work security?
If you own a business and responsible to hire people how would you hire? what would be your criteria?
If I open my business one day, for me the most important things is have a descent environment. I believe someone who is working overtime but has a healthy mentality is much more efficient than someone who struggles with stress. I think mental exhaustion is much worse than physical. You can take care of your physical tiredness by sleeping for few hours but you can't get rid of your stresses that easy.
Good quality work needs good healthy mind. So my main focus will be on hiring nice descent people rather than anything else. You can always train the person with positive attitude but no matter how hard you try a jerk is a jerk. It doesn't matter that the jerk work performance is good or bad I believe the amount of damage that person can impose on other colleagues do more harm than good.
 If one day I opened my own bussiness ..If...

Open or Close

What kind of office environment do you prefer? open or closed?
Open concept means 2 to three and in my case 6 people share a space at work. You have your own desk but no walls. In closed concept you either have your own room (which is barely a case for most of staff) or you have your own cubicle.
In our office the open concept dose not work for me. Where I sit there are few people who really mistake the office with the coffee shop. All day long you can hear giggling, chit chatting, non-stop. Some days they talk (specially one of them) in a way that you think if they stop talking they might die.  I was talking with another colleague of mine who was upset with this open concept too. He told me the way these poeple act you and I looked like an anti-social creatures, by Sitting on our chair, facing toward screen and working for 8 hours a day.
If we are working in an open concept environment  we should/we must respect each other. Instead of chit chatting all day long or taking care of our personal businesses on the phone, we should keep it quite for those who bother working.
I told about these things to my husband and he was shocked. He told me in their office people barely talk together about non-related work stuff.
Our previouse manager once send these gang an e-mail and warned them about their behaviour but then he leftt. Now we have new manager. But considering when he is around they keep it down. I don't know how long it would take for him to find out what is going on.
I know myself. If I am so annoyed by the level of unprofessional behaviour of some of my colleages it can't be only me. Sometimes I decide to speak up but then I am telling to myself wait for the good news.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

My parents went back. Nima and I started our routine which for now is watching one episode of Downton Abbey every night thanks to my lovely sister in-law who introduced the series.
I am waiting for a news. waitting makes time passes very slowly. Come on mailman bring my letter :). I can't wait ...

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


My Parents are here. It's a first time they come to Canada for a visit. Last time I saw them was more than two years a ago. They are here for less than a month and I took the whole time off. The weather has been kind to us here in Toronto for October. We visited Niagara Falls first. They loved the place. It was a beautiful sunny day and  a gorgeous rainbow was painted in sky. May parents was stunned with Falls beauty. The first night they arrived  we opened the suitcases, one after another full of good goodies for us. Local wheat bread smell so good made me feel that I'm in the heaven and I can'r describe the taste. Few walnuts, few oranges and tangerines from my grandpa garden. I am blessed.

Monday, September 26, 2011

I was driving to work this morning listening to CBC radio when I heard the story of this woman from Montreal. She is a survivor from Holocaust, 97 years old. She donated her jacket to the Montreal Holocaust Memorial Center. It was a jacket that she was forced to wear while she was in a camp. In her interview she said something really nice. She said whenever I was upset from everyday matter of life I looked at this jacket and I felt better.
I think all of us need to have a jacket, something to remind ourselves not to be upset for every silly thing in life.
Photo is from here.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Give Me Some Time

You know I have a feeling that there is this lesson I should take. Life is making me face it over and over again to take it. I am afraid I might fail again...

Monday, September 12, 2011

Fruits of Life - Part I

It has been in my head for a while to write about different people who came to my book of life and affected me in a positive or negative way. I believe we should dare to talk about what we think of each other more often. I believe we should be more open to hear what other think about us. People come and go, some scratch us, some leave a deep scare, some heal our old wounds made by other and some just pass by like the air, no influence nothings. Every relationship that we make is like a fruit, some are sweet, some are sour, some are bitter like a bitter melon, and some are tasteless. I want to write about people who has influenced me in a positive or a negative way.
I always think every individual has a  patience bowl. something like a balloon (expandable you  know). Every time we made acquaintance with someone automatically we designate a spot inside that bowl under that person's name. As we get a long if that person does something that we don't like his/her balloon grows. If the person keep annoys you the balloon tagged his/her name will explode and that's a day that you just had enough and cant take it anymore. Now if you want to designate new balloon to that person, or you want to cut the relationship is your decision.
I want to start with a friendship that I ended up for the first time in my life. When I was younger I would never even think of braking up with anyone let alone cutting the relationship for good (I am talking about simple friendship not romantic stuff). But at the age of 25 for the first time in my life I reached to the point of explosion. The balloon exploded and I knew I would never designate another balloon for that person. I learned something knew about myself. I saw my limits. After years of friendship I felt I am fed up. I don't want to make a list of things and events that ended my friendship. All I can say is that we were totally different people , different personality with few things in common. I find that person very jealous. This former friend of mine told me once that everything she/he achieved in her/his life is because there was always someone  around that make her/him jealous. She/he studied/worked hard  to be ahead of that person. years passed that I realized I can't change his/her character. I am wasting a precious energy and time on someone who is not a friend but a pathetic competitor. I was tired of dishonest attitude, bitter tongue, continuous jealousy, constant competition in every things, studying, career, social life, etc. After 7 years I had enough. I killed the relationship and never regret it for a second. What I really regret is that I wish I would spend all those years with a real friend. I did make very good and close friends within those years but I wish I wouldn't wasted my energy, heart, time on some who didn't worth a penny of my friendship. What that event changed in me is that I became very impatient and alarmed toward similar attitude from people. Now if I see anything slightly similar I would never consider getting close in first place. Now is this a bad or a good thing. I don't know. Should I blamed that relationship for being less patient or it would happen to me anyway as I grow older. I don't know. be continued

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Hats Off To Jack

I have lived in Canada for 6 years now. I learned about Jack Layton soon after settling down in this country and starting to follow the political news. Nima and I always thought that if Jack had been a leader of any other two parties he would have definitely become a prime minister of Canada long time a go and for a long time. We liked him although we never voted for NDP. We respected him for his determination; for being strong a leader and inspiring to his team.
His farewell letter is very noble. This is admirable to hear from someone who was going to die soon from cancer encouraged other cancer fighter to be optimistic.

"To other Canadians who are on journeys to defeat cancer and to live their lives, I say this: please don’t be discouraged that my own journey hasn’t gone as well as I had hoped. You must not lose your own hope. Treatments and therapies have never been better in the face of this disease. You have every reason to be optimistic, determined, and focused on the future. My only other advice is to cherish every moment with those you love at every stage of your journey, as I have done this summer."

Very noble indeed.

" My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world."


Sunday, August 07, 2011

Say Goodbye to Your Friend

One of the saddest causes (and I would say common) that can end your friendship with a close friend or even a member of your family can be his/her marriage.

Imagin you have a very close friend who is single. You are like a brother or sister. You grow up together. You have lots of things in common. You share precious memoirs. One day this very dear friend get married. You can't wait to meet the girl/guy. Finally you meet "the significant other". First meet you can feel something is not quit right. You can feel the slight tension at "hello". You deny it.

This friend of yours is so dear you can find a way to like his/her love of life. But life has its own way. Gradually you notice your friend is changing. You are still in denial. You don't want to accept that your friendship will never be the same. This new "significant other" turns out to be control freak. Its her/his way or highway. and your friend has to get along and the price is your friendship. Gradually you feel the distance. Gradually you watch your friend leaving your book of life. No matter how loud you cry for him/her train of life taking him/her away from you. And with that, a piece of your heart goes. Your heart aches but there is nothing you can do.

It doesn't have to be this way. Sometimes when your close friend gets married , things get even better. Your friend spouse himself/herself becomes another best friend of yours. When my best friend married her husband became my best friend in a bit. The three of us had a lot in common. We enjoyed talking to each other till midnight without noticing a clock.

Dear spouses, when you get married please don't try to cut your partners friends and families  ASAP. If they were doing fine before you appeared in their life, trust me they don't need you to coach them how to manage their 20-year old friendship. Why do you think you have a right to suddenly take everything over. When you get married you don't own your partner you are his/her PARTNER not boss, not coach, not.... You two are supposed to share your life together not taking over one another's.

Sunday, July 17, 2011


گفتمش نقاش را نقشی‌ بکش از زندگی‌    با قلم نقش حبابی بر لب دریا کشید
Translation: I asked him what life is. With his brush he painted a bubble by the sea
P.S. Pic from here

Pigeons Can remember Your Face

" From  Toronto Star, July 11, 2011, Lesley Ciarula Taylor :
Pigeons remember the faces of the people who are nasty and who are nice, according to a French study.

City pigeons remember who’s nasty and who feeds them, a French study finds.

Experiments in a Parisian park revealed that pigeons would ignore a patch of food around a person who had routinely harassed them in favour of dwindling seeds near a friendly feeder.

The study tried to confuse the pigeons by having the feeders swap their long, bright coats or by moving around the male and female feeders.

The pigeons weren’t fooled. After a few days, they remembered which one had been the hostile, arm-waving feeder and snubbed his or her food.

“Several studies have shown that pigeons are capable of remarkable feats of memory and discrimination of photographs of humans,” study co-author Ahmed Belguermi told the Star."

P.S.1 So now if it happens to you that a pigeon crap on you, think back in time see if you ever be unkind to them :)
P.S.2 Picture from here 

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Self Observatory :)

I found myself on the edge these days. Little things can upset me easily that couldn't before. I think the combination of selling our house, buying another, thinking about career goals, missing my family and waiting for their visa to come pushed me to the edge.
This morning I went to a site. I was suppose to be there and waiting for another colleague who was coming from another office to join me. He came and the two of us went to the site. The construction was started already and we had to be fast to catch up. The site was located in downtown Toronto at the busiest part of it. It's a mad house. The client we were working for provided us with a parking space by closing part of the main road. It's not easy to park in there. I always find my ways and even if I can't park in the designated spot I go and park in a nearest public parking around. We started working, when my colleagues cell started ringing and because he was busy working I end up talking to a guy who supposedly was sent to the site to be trained. No body told me or my colleague about him coming. He was late too. He told me he can't park his car and ask me to go and guide him. I never met him before so I asked him what car he had! where he was exactly!
Anyway I left at the middle of the operation and ended up waiting for him for 10 minutes and he wasn't where he said he was. I didn't have his number. I didn't know his name. I didn't know how he look like. But he knew my face apparently. I gave up and I came back to the site. after half an hour the guy called back very annoyed.
"Hiva I am still waiting for you" He said.
"I came to the intersection and looked for your car, I couldn't see it" I said frustrated by this interruption.
"I was supposed to  come to the site, I was supposed to be trained. My supervisor keep calling me if I am in the site or not" He said in such way like I am responsible for that.
"Ok I am coming back again, I have a red shirt and..." I said
"How long does it take" He asked.
"Couple of minutes" I replied.
I went back to the intersection and saw a man waving for me. I guessed it should be him. I showed him the designated parking spot and told him how to get in there so I can move the cones and let him in. He asked me to come with him and showed him exactly how to get to the intersection like I am a freaking GPS. Anyway I didn't want to argue so I walked with him to his car and after 20 minutes driving in downtown I told him to forget about the designated spot and just park in a public place and charge the expense. Long story short by the time we came back to the site it was about 45 minutes.
I was really angry with the fact that nobody told me he is coming. That he wasn't on time. that he didn't use his brain to simply park his car somewhere and join us rather than wasting 1 hour of my time to find him the parking spot. When we went back to the site I told my colleague from the other office who knew this guy that: "Why he didn't park his car himself. Why I had to go and show him, I am not a babysitter"
I was listening to myself. It just didn't sound like me. Right then I knew I needed to rest. I came back home couple of hours earlier and start writing this post.
I just need to calm down. Taking a shower will help.

Sunday, June 26, 2011








Use it carefully please :)

Hopefull Ape

I found this link through a we-blog while ago. You can read the response of different intellectuals to one of the biggest question that anybody might have: "Does the Universe Have a Purpose?". Looking at the twelve responses, you can find:
Two (2) definite No
One (1) Unlikely 
One (1) Not sure
Five (5) Yes (including Indeed and certainly)
One (1) Very Likely
One (1) Perhaps

And finally one (1) "I hope so"

If you look at these numbers again, 33% (4 out of 12) said no or are more inclined toward no.
58% (7 out of 12) said yes or are more toward yes and there is one with hope.

I liked Elie Wiesel answer too which was "I hope so, and if it doesn’t, it’s up to us to give it one."
Also Lawrence M. Krauss answer is very logical " While nothing in biology, chemistry, physics, geology, astronomy, or cosmology has ever provided direct evidence of purpose in nature, science can never unambiguously prove that there is no such purpose. As Carl Sagan said, in another context: Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Of course, nothing would stop science from uncovering positive evidence of divine guidance and purpose if it were attainable. For example, tomorrow night if we look up at the stars and they have been rearranged into a pattern that reads, "I am here," I think even the most hard-nosed scientific skeptic would suspect something was up..."

P.S. Picture is from here

Monday, June 20, 2011

C-Section to the Resque

I was telling to my husband the other day that I found an idea to help commuters.
"Nima we can make a website in which every commuter can register and those who are commuting the same way can find each other and car pull" I told Nima with a ray of pride in my voice like I found a million dollors idea.
"Honey the website is already out there. That's how my colleague find someone for his wife to commute from Burlington to Markham" Said Nima with slight mischief in his voice.

Seriously people, can't I have one original idea that nobody think of it before :)
I am not gonna give up. One of these days a million dollar idea will come out. Push Push

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Change is in the Air

I am not quite motivated at work these days. No manager for the past month and some of the junior staff are taking advantage of that. Office is more like a Coffee shop sometimes, rather than a place to work. We have an open concept and the privacy is almost zero. Just imagine yourself trying to work while two/three people around you giggling and chit chatting all day long.  Sometimes I feel I am in a high school surrounded with bunch of teenagers that has nothing else to do rather than making silly lame comments on every things happening around them.
I don't feel I am in an engineering office working with adults.
These days I am dragging myself to work..Change is in the air...

Sunday, April 17, 2011

100/0 Principle by Al Ritter

I found this very helpful to ignore people who give me a negative attitude..

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Under Development

How many times we deal with difficult people around us. As a friend, as a colleague or even a family member.
I know nothing is perfect and as far as I am alive there would be people who I don't like and get on my nerve.
The easiest case is that the difficult person you have to deal with is difficult for most of the people around you and the hardest case is that , the person is difficult to some and doesn't show steady pattern. For example the person is difficult today and act easy tomorrow. You know someone with unstable personality but clever enough to play his/her game.
It's not always possible to get rid of that person. For instance say you have a difficult colleague, you can't just go to your boss and ask  please fire her/him, right? The only solution is to learn how to block out that person in your head. Stop thinking about the attitude the person is giving you and be yourself. It's not easy believe me but should be possible. This is what I am working on it. I am developing a thick skin. It hurts but that's the only solution. Soon enough I'll be a rhinoceros. Wish me luck!!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Enjoy Every Sandwish

Sitting in a cozy coffeehouse, Nima and I were enjoying our coffee and a small mocha pastry this evening. Sipping from the Parisian Bowl I felt so happy. Forgetting about small and big problems, forgetting about my fears, forgetting about missing him and her, I am happy. Life is sweet just like this little piece of pastry, life is deep like this bowl, life is bitter like my coffee but as far as you are breathing just enjoy that moment. Enjoy every SANDWICH...

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Happy Charshanbe Soory

I am 14. With my younger sister and cousins we are gathering wood pieces to make 7 bonfires. Any tree branch would do.We are going to have family get together tonight at my grandpa place. The weather is so nice, winter is over and I can see little beautiful plum blossoms on the trees. Lisa and palang (two lovely guard dogs) are following us every where. I can feel excitement inside myself makes me shiver. Always last few days of the year makes me feel so fresh and happy. I can feel the nature is coming back to life. It's like I am one of those trees in my grandpa garden blooming.

It's getting dark, fireflies are dancing in the air. Their winking lights makes our surrounding dreamy.
7 bonfires are ready, we bring some oil and waiting for my grandpa, parents, aunts and uncles to join us.  Gradually everybody are coming: "Happy chaharshanbe soori".."Happy Norooz"..kissing and hugging.

My dad starts firing the piles of wood one after another. "Ok let go" My dad announced. We line up and start jumping while whispering  "zardi man az to, sorkhie to az man"  which means my sickly yellow paleness is yours, your fiery red color is mine.  After celebrating charshanbe soori we all get together in my grandpa place for a delicious meal. Laughing, making jokes, having fun was our way to welcome spring.

I am 31 now, well almost. Having crazy March, this is my way to celebrate this beautiful ancient feast. But I am promising to myself next year I will do this not just blogging about it. Next year I promise


P.S Picture from here and here

Sunday, March 13, 2011


How would you feel if you invite some guests and then one of them who are not as welcome as the others, act like the host, put food on everybody's plate like they are his guests. Chatting with your guests like he invited them in first place and at the end ask you: "oh by the way are you hungry? do you want me to put some food in your plate? Come on don't be shy do you want to join our party?"
How would you feel?What would you do with this person?

P.S.pic i from here

Thursday, March 10, 2011


Today was my dad's birthday. For a long time I was thinking to do something for him as a gift, making a website for him and his magazine, adding his bio to wikipedia..I had a big plan in my head. I said to myself I would build a website for him and let people to subscribe to his magazine on-line. I would do this and that..I planned all these for his previous birthday and I never had time to do it. Our life is such a rush rush thing that making a quick call for his birthday is the best I can do.
Today a colleague of mine treat a few of us for a lunch as his goodbye lunch. He is returning back to his country for good. He was saying after 14 years living in North  America I am tired of this fast pace life. Life is so stressful here, he said. I can't agree more.
There was this lady came to our office today for safety meeting. She was from UK. One of the first thing she mentioned was about food being tasteless. She said she didn't have a good Coffey in two weeks. I simply believed her.
I wish black coup would have never happened and the democratically elected government of Persia would have succeeded to grow. How would be Persia looked like. Who knows maybe there is a parallel universe in which Mossadegh never been imprisoned and died under house arrest.

In that universe dad, Hiva is buying you a thoughtful gift. Something better than overpriced bunch of roses that I ordered on-line last year. which wasn't even fresh. I would hug you tight and kiss you allover your face.I'll be there to order a cake to take pictures and help mom through you a surprise party. Where are you WALTER?

Monday, March 07, 2011

Everyday There is a New Fruit in This Garden

I never understand how things work..sometimes for a long time nothing is happening except the routin and you get bored. And some times everythings happening all together..March is our new year which I usually like to take some time, cleaning the house...planing a little party..things like that
But this March specifically is also my thesis defense and believe it or not exactly a day after is my citizenship exam..I also have two deadlines for two paper to submit..I need a day be 48 hours to get my things done..wish me luck
P.S. The title of the post is a translation for a Persian saying which implies that every day something new is happening to deal with

Sunday, February 20, 2011


Nima and I just came back from one-week trip to Cozumel Island in Mexico. We had a great time over there. I am still shocked with the rich nature around this pretty island, the thick vegetation, the endless coral reefs, the greenish blue beaches with white sand surrounded with coconut trees, the Iguanas...
The first time that I went for snorkeling around the three famous coral reefs at south west side of the island, I was speechless. Just like those documentaries, colorful curious fish were swimming with us, a green see turtle was playing around, a five feet Barracuda absolutely fearless was staring at us, a small sting Ray which scared the hell out of me, sun rays on the ocean floor which made the view kind of dreamy.Still thinking about these things make me smile.
We had a chance to visit a mainland few times. We went to Chichen Itza to visit one of the seven wonder of the world "The Mayan Pyramid". Our tour guide taught us some Mayan world "Malo Kin = Good Morning or more accurate Good Soul". I wanna know more about these smart people with scary rituals, sacrifices, play of death, etc.
It was 25, sunny with a mild wind blowing, Nima and I were lying down by the beach. "When we came back  when ever you are stressed from anything come back to this moment and remember how relaxed we are" Nima said. Our life has such a fast pace I wish I could slow it down a little bit.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


"A parallel universe or alternative reality is a hypothetical self-contained separate reality coexisting with one's own"
The idea of alternative reality is fascinating. Imagine for every decision you make there are several options and depends on each option you choose you'll have different life story.Imagine if there were infinite universes formed based on possible choices in our life . There would be infinite version of you out there each made of different decision which led to different path. You might be a fire fighter in one of those world, maybe a leader, a criminal, a teacher, a hero, an actor,..religious or anti-religion.
I am watching this TV series called "FRINGE" which is based on this hypothesis. One of the main character of this film is a genius called Dr Bishop, he made a gate to the other world when his son died. He made that door to go to another reality which his son was still alive and bring him back to his world. I am fascinated with this idea.

I want that gate, I'll come for you all and bring you back..things would have been so much different!

Address to The Haggis

Yesterday was a Robert Burns day. A memorial of this famous Scottish poet. I have a very nice Scottish colleague who told me how they celebrate the day. A family prepare a meal called Haggis and a person who serve the meal read the famous poem of Robert Burn's called " Address to The Haggis". He read the poem for us in its original format. I couldn't understand a word of it but I was amazed with his performance. The way he read it I could felt the excitement in his voice remind me of my father when reading "Hafiz" poems for us.
P.S. a picture is from here

Sunday, January 23, 2011


There are no unlockable doors
There are no unwinnable wars
There are no unrightable wrongs
Or unsingable songs
There are no unbeatable odds
There are no believable Gods
There are no unnameable names
Shall I say it agin? Yeah
There are no impossible dreams
There are no invisible seams
Each night when the day is through
I don't ask much

I just want you
I just want you

There are no uncriminal crimes
There are no unrhymeable rhymes
There are no identical twins or
Forgiveable sins
There are no incurable ills
There are no unkillable thrills
One thing and you know it's true
I don't ask much

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired
I used to go to bed so high and wired
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
I think I'll buy myself some plastic water
I guess I should have married Lennon's daughter
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

There are no unachievable goals
There are no unsavable souls
No legitimate kings or queens
Do you know what I mean? Yeah
There are no indisputable truths
And there ain't no fountain of youth
Each night when the day is through
I don't ask much


P.S. From the : "Strange and beautiful" website

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Immortal Jelly

There is a species of jellyfish which is able to go back in time and become young again. Read this:

"This species of jellyfish might be the only animal in the world to have truly discovered the fountain of youth. Since it is capable of cycling from a mature adult stage to an immature polyp stage and back again, there may be no natural limit to its life span. Because they are able to bypass death, the number of individuals is spiking. "We are looking at a worldwide silent invasion," says Dr. Maria Miglietta of the Smithsonian Tropical Marine Institute."

I wonder if the jelly has any memory of its previous life? If it would happen for humans imagine your parents got older sooner and then go back to their childhood again and you could see your dad as a little boy call you son/daughter. "No dad you can't have another ice cream", "that's enough mom no more cartoon for today"...

Monday, January 10, 2011

Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee

I shall not be there. I shall rise and pass. Bury my heart at Wounded Knee...
I read this book many years ago. One of the most touching book I've ever read. I Feel like reading it again.

Sunday, January 02, 2011


I was 22. Finishing a term of English class which was everyday based. There were two of my classmates (all of the students are females) attract my attention. Every day they kissed and hugged and said nice things to each other like: "I missed you so much" and that so much missing refered to 24 hours that they didn't see each other. To me they should have been very close friends and probably knew each other for a good deal of time. One day one of these love birds didn't come and she didn't show up the day after and the day after so at the end of the day 4th  teacher naturally looked at the other love bird and asked about her friend where abouts. She simply shrugged and said: "I don't know!". "  "Well would you please call her?" teacher asked surprised by her indifferent reaction. "I don't have her phone number". She replied.  "We can find her number from 118" (which is equal to 411 here in Canada) I said. "I don't know her last name". Right on that moment I was thinking about all those hugging, kissing, missing you so much scenarios everyday between those two but there even didn't know their last names. I was thinking what was with the freak show then.

I still have this question in my mind when I am seeing my female friends or acquaintances who just met or know each other for a short time and behave like they are friends of 100 years. This is different from being friendly this is more of a show. This is not like really care about each other this is simply is a fake show. The moment one of them is in trouble all those sweet words and hugging and kissing turns to indifferent behavior and things like "I didn't really know her". God I dislike these things.

Do men do the same?

Have you ever experienced that you are in a small group of female friends (I assume I am talking to girl mostly in this post) and suddenly for no reasons  two or three of them start bounding by speaking in a way that you can't participate. You feel you are being  pushed very delicately out of the circle. You watched them laughing, giggling talking in low voice like this is the most important secret of all. It's like a wave come and go and never last. Over an hour things might change and one of those who was trying to push you out , pushed out herself. It is nothing deep and not really bold enough that you can put finger on it. It's like a secret language between girls, you know, I know but we don't talk about it. We just play...God I dislike these things. I think this is a girly way to gain power and control..More people you bound with, more power and more control you have..But the things is this is not real power to me because the bounding is happening over a short period of time.

I learn one things if I have a friend that over and over again sending negative energy to me, if I have a friend that taking away my piece by playing and not being real, that person is not my friend. I want real things, when smiling at me, means that ..when you are upset show it to me..Aren't we girls complicated?..DON'T PLAY JUST DON'T