The person I am today is different from Hiva at 18 years of age. " I am my connectom" I repeated after Sebastian Seung who is trying to answer to who we are through neuroscience. He said our experiences and memories in life stored through connections among neurons.
I know more than anything I am looking for inner peace. A state of mind that wont easily be disturbed, call it wisdom, call it inner peace. I belive every person has to find a solution for their restless mind.
- one might confides in organazied religions, phylosephy, aethiesm ,...
- one might confieds in family and/or friends
- one might drown himself/herself in work or certain hobbies
- reading books, listening to music, reading poems, doing Yoga, doing extreme sport, having a baby, having a pet....
The list has no end. I belive only I know what would works for me the best. When I was 15 years old I started saying prays. I loved it. It was working for me like a magic. I had a great self confidence which helped me overcome my anxieties. I happily said prays for years till the age of 25 which it was not working for me anymore. I found my doing kind of robatic, wasnt giving me anything. I knew I had to find another solution.
Few days ago I was sitting in a bar with few friends and talking about life were we are going and stuff like that ( these are kind of topics you usually have after few drinks :))
I told to my friend, " in today's society we have big milestones to achive which keep us motivated. Motivation is a huge positive source of feeling happy. First we go to school, finish high school, finish university, find a job, find a partner. Now if you are a person who already done with your school, married and working you already achived big parts of your milestones. You reached to the plateau of your life. When you are on the plateau it's important to find out what you want. Without noticing the big source of your motivation is gone and without that you might find yourself disoriented, aimless, empty, depressed, middle age crises...."
It's like you have been on this super fast roller coaster that all of a sudden comes to this halt at the middle of nowhere. Where am I ? How these years passed? When did I grow up this much?
If you start having babies then again your plateau will start steeping upward which means now your babies life curve, affecting yours. Your children milestone becomes yours. You find yourselfe motivated again. But these days many couples having baby at older age and they have easily 5 plateau years or more. Don't be astonished if you find yourself confused, bored since the adrenalin of achieving different milestone is gone. As much as you notice this you will feel better.
I told to my friend, " in today's society we have big milestones to achive which keep us motivated. Motivation is a huge positive source of feeling happy. First we go to school, finish high school, finish university, find a job, find a partner. Now if you are a person who already done with your school, married and working you already achived big parts of your milestones. You reached to the plateau of your life. When you are on the plateau it's important to find out what you want. Without noticing the big source of your motivation is gone and without that you might find yourself disoriented, aimless, empty, depressed, middle age crises...."
It's like you have been on this super fast roller coaster that all of a sudden comes to this halt at the middle of nowhere. Where am I ? How these years passed? When did I grow up this much?
If you start having babies then again your plateau will start steeping upward which means now your babies life curve, affecting yours. Your children milestone becomes yours. You find yourselfe motivated again. But these days many couples having baby at older age and they have easily 5 plateau years or more. Don't be astonished if you find yourself confused, bored since the adrenalin of achieving different milestone is gone. As much as you notice this you will feel better.
To feel the gap we start making other excitement in our life, we define other goals, get my boating liscence, learn fishing, buy a pet, planting, partying like crazy, running for this or that cause. All good, all good. Whatever works I am telling to my self. Just find me my inner peace. Just grow me the right network of connectom. Hallelujah