Friday, November 06, 2009

The more you cheat the more I make money

I just read a very controversial article on Globe and Mail on line. The article introduce Noel Biderm the Founder and Chief Executive Officer at AshelyMadison Agency. Believe it or not the website is for married people who wants to have an affair. Noel is also the writer of the book called "Cheaters Prosper".

I entered the website, this strange quote caught my eyes "Life is too short , have an affair".
These are the facts about this agency:
1- The website has been operating for 8 years now and have over 4.8 million members.
2- The ratio of the men to women are 70 to 30.
3- The
men tend to be between 35-60 years old, while women come in two distinct groups: married 30-50 and single 20-30 years old.
4- There are many single women on the site who are looking to be with an attached man for their own personal reasons

He was available on-line today to answer people's question. During the on-line debate Noel was saying that he himself is faithful to her wife and he is just providing facilities for those who are already cheating but through his website it's become easier (plus he is making money out of it).

He believes that divorced is not a choice for everyone, there are family, extended family, financial, and a whole host of other foundations to a marriage - at least by having an affair the person can recharge him/herself.

What really bothering me is that: in a nutshell this man is a business man and he makes more money as more people cheat on their partner. please note that he is not encouraging people to have open marriage, no he encourage them to have an affair. He does not simply accept the fact that this is all about money. He is trying to justify that what he is doing is good for mankind. He is saying that "
The research from geneticists is more clear - it is not in our DNA to be monogamous"!!!!

Not in our DNA? Actually I don't think this kind of social agreements has anything to do with our DNA. Is it in Arab Saudian's DNA that a man can have four women. I don't think so!

I believe instead of encouraging people to have an affair, it's better to encourage them not to rush to get married. No one put a gun on our head to marry (at least not in North America). If someone think staying with only one person for his/her entire life is a torture, fine! stay out of it; have an open relationship. I could understand if someone has open marriage because it's not cheating anymore both side are adults and agree on a new form of social agreement. But Noel makes money by encouraging people to cheat.
One more thing, if someone after a while for whatever reasons feels his/her marriage does not work get divorced.

I don't believe that cheating on your partner can save your marriage. The moment you cheat your marriage is literally ended and it's useless to stay in that misery . I mean what kind of marriage is that when you have to cheat to save it.


Behdokht said...

Wow! Cannot believe these people! This idea of cheating to save the marriage is ridiculously funny! People come with all sorts of weird ideas and don't bother considering moral principles AT ALL! Another ridiculous thing that I heard once from one of my Dutch classmates who happened to be male was: "you have someone to love and he/she is the love of your life and you know that but you may go to a party one night and drink and feel like spending the night with someone whom you met in the party and that's "OK" since you felt passion for that person for a night and didn't love her and you get back to your real love the day after"...Brilliant reasoning indeed!!

Deep Blue Sea said...

"He believes that divorced is not a choice for everyone, there are family, extended family, financial, and a whole host of other foundations to a marriage - at least by having an affair the person can recharge him/herself."

- Well , don't you think he is talking about a loveless marriage which you cant get out of for above reasons.

"I mean what kind of marriage is that when you have to cheat to save it." - a marriage whose existence at present time is not for love but other practical considerations..

P.S - I am saying this only for argument sake.I am as disgusted with his concept.

"it is not in our DNA to be monogamous"!!!! - Looks like I have a reason to Thank those Geeky geneticists ;-)

Hiva said...


I know there are many people who get married without love and
I don't really care how people wants to manage their love life, it's non of my business but the idea of encouraging people to cheat upsets me. This man is doing this just to make money but the way he talks is like he is doing this just because he is very worried about people who doesn't have love in their life.

Georg said...

Bonjour Hiva,

You have wit and common sens, I loved to read your post.

To make money out of shit is a special gift and we others should be careful not to fall in this kind of trap.


Nava said...

Hi Hiva,
I laughed at your last sentence, just because it simply showed how angry and disgusted by this whole idea you've become.
Same here. I'd love to see these people and ask them about the actual "article" they are refering to, in which they have seen this fact that "we are not created monogamous". If their reference is our ancestors in the animal world, well, those are animals for god's sake. Then maybe it's OK to do lots of stuff just because our relatives in the animal world do it...People and their ethics!
Anyways, he is very smart though, from a businessman point of view, to figure out a way to make money.
Although somehow I don't even feel good about that kind of money...

Hiva said...

Hi George,
Thanks, "make money out of shit " that's a good one ;)

Nava joon
You are right I was angry, I even attend the online chat to see how people approach this subject. I don't feel good about this kind of money either.

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