Thursday, February 04, 2010

Self Discovery

I finally finished my thesis and waiting for my supervisors to make comments. Meanwhile I started looking to see what' out there for me.
It's funny, all my life I wanted to be where I am right now. I wanted to get my PhD (literally I haven't got it yet) and be an academic person. Now that I am so close I don't like the academic life at all. I don't want to be a university teacher (at least not right now) and nothing else excites me either. Only few years ago "teaching at university and one day become a prof." was a big deal to me. Now I don't like that perspective. I don't know what I really like either.
I am asking myself what's next? What do you want to do? Where do you want to be in 5 years? I have no answers. I am confused.
Working in industry is another option but then there are not that much industrial companies who need post grad thus there is a good chance that after a while I felt bored with my job with no challenges.
I used to be very motivated and ambitious in a good way...Maybe all of us once in a while at certain age have these kind of dilemmas like what I am doing at all?, is it my dream job? Am I ok retired from this?.
when we are a child our head became full of heros stories and people who change the world which have big influence on us: when I grow up I want to be somebody , a hero , a genius, a world saver...But non of these are realistic goals. As we grow older we come up with more realistic goals but something secretly inside us still wish to be that famous hero.
What I need is a realistic evaluation of my abilities and interests.
I need to think..yeah I need to think


mohammad zobeiry said...

salam hiva jan
in tabiee ast ke vaghti az yek sharyet be sharayete digari miravim
doochare tardid mishavim ta zamani ke
be shayete tasbit beresim
in tardid ha ra man jostejoogari midanam ke khayli khoob va lazem ast
va inke maghsad residan be hadaf nist balke payane yek dore ast
shak nadarm roohiyeye konjkave too az in dooran to ra be mahaleye badi zendegi ke khoob ham khahad bood khahad bord
az door miboosamet be nima salam beresoon
ba arezooye behtarinha barayat

Deep Blue Sea said...

Dear Hiva .

Maybe you are just so tired mentally from doing Phd . For a brief time you may like get away from all this and then rekindle your desire for academics by giving yourself time and space to rejoice this achievement..

"there are not that much industrial companies who need post grad"

Is it true ? I thought you Phd guys were driving force in R & D of Industry ..

Which is your field of specialization by the way ?

TrüSka said...

Long time no see! Kisses from Portugal! : **

Hiva said...

Merci, midunam hatman hamintor mishe, ye kam pul dar biaram halam ja miad :))), boooos

I agree actually, for a long time I just sat in my room and wrote. It kind of get to me..:))
Well the number of industrial companies who do research are quite few makes it hard to get position over there. I just started looking and I am hopeful. I am a numerical analyst by the way..

Thanks, :D :**

Georg said...

Hallo Hiva,

Deep Blue might be right. Writing a thesis means much work and concentration. Maybe you simply need a mental break.

What about doing some research? Does that exist in your activity?

Or you could become a fruit vendor for some weeks. Lots of fresh air, different people, different surroundings. What about that?


Behdokht said...

You know what? a nice good break like a trip to Holland after you officially finished will bring back all the excitement that you need for the next step ;) :)
You have all the rights to think and be careful about your future options, so good luck with all the thinking and your self discovery and congratulations by the way! kisses

Hiva said...

Hi George,
a fruit vendor... Now that's fun, I like the idea of a flower vendor too :))


Sure trip to Holland gonna be awesome, I miss you both a lottttttttttt..booos

Unknown said...

Yara sokhan az zabane ma migooee. That is exactly how I felt/feel.

Hiva said...

I think I watched "Professor Baltazar" too much when I decided to get my PhD :DD

just a peasant said...

If you haven't defended yet - then good luck.

Hiva said...

No I haven't,still waiting for my supervisors comments.. thanks