Saturday, June 26, 2010

My Mind Entropy

It's about a month that I haven't got any time to write in here. 6 weeks at work...god it's exhausting
Nima and I stretch ourselves as much as possible to accommodate more things to do, house keeping, cooking, hanging out with friends.
At first I was really stress out. I stayed more than 8 hours many days. I couldn't stop thinking about work even when I was home. I was home but I wasn't. Nima told me once "I want my wife back". He was/is absolutely supportive and he tried to show me how can I separate my mind the moment I step out of my office. Became conscious of myself I start controlling my thoughts.

To begin with I start to say goodbye to office right after 8 hours "Hiva no matter how close you are to finish it after 8 hours out just get out, unless your supervisor ask you to stay or the deadline is tomorrow morning"

"As you stepped out, stop reviewing your day, say goodbye to "Mr amazing B", "Mr A the great", "Ms. N the mother of 4" (I don't know how she does it, she is just amazing), "Mr. P junior", "Mr. H the buddy" and so on. Everybody out this place is closed for the next 16 hours."

"I am turning the radio on, increase the volume and sing with song (I'll do my best). I am coming home yeah, lets think about what can we do today, maybe hanging out with "Hooman the Encyclopedia", have an ice cream a little bit of walk and chat and enjoy the endless knowledge of Hooman in almost everything"

Sometimes "Mr J the serious" from work sneak into my mind "Hiva is it ready yet?" remind me of Bart in Simpson "are we there yet". No no stop right there, I can't let you ruin my day dear, goodbye till the next morning.

These mind struggling sometimes continue even in bed before I go to sleep or right after I wake up early in the morning. I really need to tranquil my mind.  I  don't know when was the last time that I have deep 8 hours of sleep and imagine I don't even have kid or key responsibility at work (I've just started there). I need to reach to that point not to get excited with every tiny miny things happening around me. I'll be there yeah baby I'll be there soon.

6 comments:

Deep Blue Sea said...

Hi Hiva .

As a person with obsessive compulsive disorder , I can say the more you try to control thoughts the more saturated and inflexible your mind becomes.You cant control thoughts.

There is only one way to relax. That is to relax.

Anyway you live in a great country, you finished great education , married to your love . I think major worries of yours have turned out well . So you can relax

Try to stay in control rather than being washed away in a flood.Like they say when you are 60 , you should not feel like you drove a car for a long distance , but you cannot really remember the journey . {Jeez, I think I took I took your post too seriously. Nevertheless its an important point }

Behi said...

Living in a moment not in the long or just recent past, putting your work-related thoughts behind the door and walk into home with a free mind; all are my very concerns too! It's a great ability to change the channel, to switch from one very important thing to another and to manage stress meanwhile. "Passing time will help a lot"; a prescription coming from Mr.Behi ;)
This talking to yourself that you do I've found it very useful as well Hivaie and you WILL be there, that's for sure :)booos

Hiva said...

:D

Nava said...

Girls, girls! Don't forget we are "women" and we have the amazing ability of mood switching instantly after the work. You just have to find and train the switch. Yes, time will help it, and soon you will be able to handle everything quickly and seperately. It just requires a bit a energy to reduce the entropy :)

Georg said...

Bonjour Hiva,

Don't be upset about your frame of mind during these first months. You might compare this to the first few months living with your husband.

The reason for all this is probably that you struggle hard to give your best and at the same time you are not sure if you are as good as you would like to be.

Some months later you'll know your surroundings better and consequently you'll be able to switch off when leaving the office (more or less).

Cheers till then
Georg

Hiva said...

Thanks a lot

it's always good to read my "blogger" friends comments. It's been a while I haven't written anything and I missed you all. :D