Thursday, April 18, 2013

Another Life Lesson

I had an interesting evening today. I talked, explained and listened to my friend just to realize how simple two minds can see things from totally different angle. It is not always easy to put yourself in someone else shoes and be fair. It is fairly easy for me to accept my mistakes and apologiz. Today I felt bad when I was reminded of my mistakes, I felt bad when I realized how much I hurt someone. At the same time I was frustrated when my explanation was not quite being heard. This is not an easy talk when two people trying to open up about their conflicts. You need an open mind, you need fairness. But I take a big lesson... When a conflict with a friend happens and you can't talk about it with him/her keep it to yourself. Try not to involve others. Try not to share your story with others. Because as time passes this only makes it more complicated. People may even add more to your story or say it to the wrong people at the wrong time and deepen the wound. Give it time, which will bring wisdom and perspective.


radius said...

Hi Hiva, I think the last sentence of your post is an important point: Give people some time (to consider the different arguments). I would also more rely on the ability of others to draw their own conclusion and at the end discover the truth themself. Even if I think I am right and the other is wrong, I don't like to baptize somebody. As long as you consider the other person as of open enough for some logical reasoning, it is much more efficient to give him/her the chance to come to the right conclusion themself. Although I like the English tradition of debate (as a game or performance), I would never do it against friends or partners. If one finds satisfaction by defeating somebody else with argumenets, this will sooner or later damage any friendship or relation.
best regards, Michael

PS: You wrote somewhere in your post " much you heart someone." I guess you meant "hurt someone" ? Or did you meant "to heart" as am ancient form of "encourage" ?

Hiva said...

I meant 'hurt' :):)

Behdokht said...

It's hard to make a fair argument when the ones involved in that discussion are emotional, their main focus would be on how much "they" hurt, it would be more about who's the righteous. Not so many are able, or know how to discuss a conflict in a correct way. It's a skill and usually not so many of us are willing to learn it, since letting your emotions lead you looks like an easier way to go after all ;)

Love you.

Hiva said...

Boos Behi joone man