Wednesday, September 05, 2007


There is something that I don’t understand at all. Why some spouses/couples betray each other?
I really don’t get this. I am talking about normal situation, once there was a happy couple, deep in love with each other after a while say 5, 6 years one of them start having a secret affair with someone else and finally his/her secret revealed and they got divorced and the one who was betrayed suffer a lot from that tragic experience. Why???
How one can do such things to her/his spouse?
There could be some very special situation that you sympathy with the one who betrays, such as this scenario, 14 years old girl has to marry 70 years old man because of tradition (whatever) after 5, 6 years she grew up and understood what her parents did to her. She hated her husband that could be her grandfather, and after a while she fell in love with a young man lablab… but here forget about such a rare situation. I am talking about the typical story.
I can understand that two people in love , after a while stop loving each other for what ever reasons, but what is she/he thinking to start having hidden relationship??? If you get tired of your married life, that’s ok first finish this one and then start another. If you miss being in market again, go ahead, but just before that let your spouse know about your feeling. It’s his/her right after those years you two spend together.
What is the point of hidden relationship, I don’t get this! Maybe the one who betrays, don’t want to ruin his/her marriage until she/he fell confident about the second one.
The moment one of the couple start betraying, the marriage comes to an end, after that it is just matter of time that another one discover the truth.
You know I think when it comes to such a things, it doesn’t matter how deep the secret relationship is! If they just talk on the phone! If they go further! Any touches involve!
No I think what really matters is that one is able to cheat on a person who trusts him/her so much; who loves him/her so much.
It is so heartbreaking. The one who left, behind this bitter experience, really suffer a lot.
We don’t have to get married if we think we are not a long term commitment person. No one put a gun on our head. If we get married and after a while we feel we don’t want this married life anymore, which is ok, let the other one know! And get divorced then do what ever you like. for the sake of all those sweet days you two spend together, for the sake of the moment you two were in love and sign those papers, for the sake of the kids if you have, show a little respect.
Above all what annoyed me more is that some people try to show, this is not a big deal. This is a big deal! How come cheating on the one who trust you so much, is not a big deal? This trend can end to the society with no emotional security.
I think forming a family in the classic way is one the best achievements of the humans. I always appreciate what my parents did for me. I always appreciate what I learned in my family. I hope when the world changing everyday and making new rules and everything, we humans don’t ruin our valuable achievements just because they seem old.


free bird said...

i think people should differentiate between love and illusions of love in the first less unconscious betrayals happen...
but knowing you don't love somebody and insistingly sustaining with him/her is the most dirty sin which leads to this story, huh?

Hiva said...

Yeah, I know what you mean, the point is that when someone discover that his/her love was not real and he/she doesn't want to continue this anymore, he should let the other know and finished the realtionship before starting the hidden affair...