Saturday, November 06, 2010


Friendship can be simply made but to maintain the healthy relationship one need to make an effort all the time. It's a dynamic relationship. I am a friendly person myself I can easily initiate, also I'm easy to approach (well most of the time I guess). When you are making friends depends on the level of chemistry, similarities and harmony between the two persons involved that relationship can get closer or fail (obviously). I usually take my time to get to know people better before getting very close. Simply because as I get closer and closer I become attached emotionally. Thus if for any reasons after getting close the relationship doesn't work I'll get hurt. However you can never tell how much your relationship would work until you get close.

I think the best way to have a healthy relationship is:
1- try not to analyze/ interpret every details of your friends saying or actions (he said this so he means that, she did that so she meant this...this things just annoy you and lessen the joy of your friendship...I think women are more liable of doing too much analyzing ).
2- Another way is to be aware of your expectations; as we get closer automatically our expectations get higher. Some of those expectations might be absolutely unreasonable but because emotions get involved it's hard to control them.
3- Be liberal; don't try to own your friend simply accept that you friend has other friends and she/he can enjoy their friendship as much without making your friendship less valuable.
4- Try to keep the balance. If you are the type that caring and devoting a lot in your relationship there is a good chance that you end up disappointed. If you are the type that your friends mostly benefited you rather than you  caring about them there is a good chance you will be cut off at some point and loose them.

As time passes you might upgrade, downgrade or delete your relationship; the last two are never easy.
There are few people in my life that I deleted or downgraded them for different reasons. The one that became possessive and controlling (rule#3), the one who was enjoying the free ride (rule#4), or the one who became weirdly needy (rule #2).

Life is too short , have an ice cream ;)

P.S.: A picture from here


Reza Mahani said...

Interesting post, thanks for sharing!

I am recently experiencing quick but deep bonds with certain people, mostly females but some males too.
Even if I trust my feelings, they won't and that will place me in a very difficult situation .... Do you have any experience with this situation? :)

Georg said...

Wish you lots (a reasonable amount) of lasting friendships. They are good for rainy days.


Hiva said...

Hi Lotus I am not sure if I get you right? What situation exactly? that you feel to get close but not the other side?

Hi George,

Thanks..wish you the best

Reza Mahani said...

Actually, I am gaining more insight into it. A friend gave me a general, but amazing, advice to stay more observant and less reactive. That helps a lot when dealing with difficult situations :)

just a peasant said...

Interesting. And you should definitely have an ice cream. Here in Grenada they have nutmeg ice cream! :)

Hiva said...

:)) Sounds Tasty..Now I have to have one

sara said...

I want to write in FINGILISh :D
ta vaghti ke rabete ijad nakuneh, nemituni dusteto beshnasi va raetato bahash taeen kuni, va in mostalzemeh zamaneh va ertebateh bishtar. Nemidunam, shayad man eshtebah mikonam, ageh eshtebah mikonam behem bego lotfan, bazi vaghta ma khudemon bayad say kunim rabetaro shekl bedim ta beshnasim tarafemono. ta vaghti khushk va rasmi bashi, un tarafam nemitoneh va joratesho nadareh ke in karo bokoneh.

Hiva said...


Sure I agree, as isaid before you won't have any relationship till you get close. I personally think time help alot to know each other and for sure TRAVEL really is like a shortcut to know someone way better. Trust me on this..Take care