Happy Charshanbe Soory

I am 14. With my younger sister and cousins we are gathering wood pieces to make 7 bonfires. Any tree branch would do.We are going to have family get together tonight at my grandpa place. The weather is so nice, winter is over and I can see little beautiful plum blossoms on the trees. Lisa and palang (two lovely guard dogs) are following us every where. I can feel excitement inside myself makes me shiver. Always last few days of the year makes me feel so fresh and happy. I can feel the nature is coming back to life. It's like I am one of those trees in my grandpa garden blooming.

It's getting dark, fireflies are dancing in the air. Their winking lights makes our surrounding dreamy.
7 bonfires are ready, we bring some oil and waiting for my grandpa, parents, aunts and uncles to join us.  Gradually everybody are coming: "Happy chaharshanbe soori".."Happy Norooz"..kissing and hugging.

My dad starts firing the piles of wood one after another. "Ok let go" My dad announced. We line up and start jumping while whispering  "zardi man az to, sorkhie to az man"  which means my sickly yellow paleness is yours, your fiery red color is mine.  After celebrating charshanbe soori we all get together in my grandpa place for a delicious meal. Laughing, making jokes, having fun was our way to welcome spring.


I am 31 now, well almost. Having crazy March, this is my way to celebrate this beautiful ancient feast. But I am promising to myself next year I will do this not just blogging about it. Next year I promise

JUMP JUMP 

7 TIMES 

OVER 7 BONFIRES 

WHISPER THE MAGIC.

P.S Picture from here and here

.......

How would you feel if you invite some guests and then one of them who are not as welcome as the others, act like the host, put food on everybody's plate like they are his guests. Chatting with your guests like he invited them in first place and at the end ask you: "oh by the way are you hungry? do you want me to put some food in your plate? Come on don't be shy do you want to join our party?"
How would you feel?What would you do with this person?

P.S.pic i from here

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD

Today was my dad's birthday. For a long time I was thinking to do something for him as a gift, making a website for him and his magazine, adding his bio to wikipedia..I had a big plan in my head. I said to myself I would build a website for him and let people to subscribe to his magazine on-line. I would do this and that..I planned all these for his previous birthday and I never had time to do it. Our life is such a rush rush thing that making a quick call for his birthday is the best I can do.
Today a colleague of mine treat a few of us for a lunch as his goodbye lunch. He is returning back to his country for good. He was saying after 14 years living in North  America I am tired of this fast pace life. Life is so stressful here, he said. I can't agree more.
There was this lady came to our office today for safety meeting. She was from UK. One of the first thing she mentioned was about food being tasteless. She said she didn't have a good Coffey in two weeks. I simply believed her.
I wish black coup would have never happened and the democratically elected government of Persia would have succeeded to grow. How would be Persia looked like. Who knows maybe there is a parallel universe in which Mossadegh never been imprisoned and died under house arrest.

In that universe dad, Hiva is buying you a thoughtful gift. Something better than overpriced bunch of roses that I ordered on-line last year. which wasn't even fresh. I would hug you tight and kiss you allover your face.I'll be there to order a cake to take pictures and help mom through you a surprise party. Where are you WALTER?

Everyday There is a New Fruit in This Garden

I never understand how things work..sometimes for a long time nothing is happening except the routin and you get bored. And some times everythings happening all together..March is our new year which I usually like to take some time, cleaning the house...planing a little party..things like that
But this March specifically is also my thesis defense and believe it or not exactly a day after is my citizenship exam..I also have two deadlines for two paper to submit..I need a day be 48 hours to get my things done..wish me luck
P.S. The title of the post is a translation for a Persian saying which implies that every day something new is happening to deal with

Please Never Get Old..Promise me!

MALO KIN

Nima and I just came back from one-week trip to Cozumel Island in Mexico. We had a great time over there. I am still shocked with the rich nature around this pretty island, the thick vegetation, the endless coral reefs, the greenish blue beaches with white sand surrounded with coconut trees, the Iguanas...
The first time that I went for snorkeling around the three famous coral reefs at south west side of the island, I was speechless. Just like those documentaries, colorful curious fish were swimming with us, a green see turtle was playing around, a five feet Barracuda absolutely fearless was staring at us, a small sting Ray which scared the hell out of me, sun rays on the ocean floor which made the view kind of dreamy.Still thinking about these things make me smile.
We had a chance to visit a mainland few times. We went to Chichen Itza to visit one of the seven wonder of the world "The Mayan Pyramid". Our tour guide taught us some Mayan world "Malo Kin = Good Morning or more accurate Good Soul". I wanna know more about these smart people with scary rituals, sacrifices, play of death, etc.
It was 25, sunny with a mild wind blowing, Nima and I were lying down by the beach. "When we came back  when ever you are stressed from anything come back to this moment and remember how relaxed we are" Nima said. Our life has such a fast pace I wish I could slow it down a little bit.

A GATE TO ANOTHER REALLITY

"A parallel universe or alternative reality is a hypothetical self-contained separate reality coexisting with one's own"
The idea of alternative reality is fascinating. Imagine for every decision you make there are several options and depends on each option you choose you'll have different life story.Imagine if there were infinite universes formed based on possible choices in our life . There would be infinite version of you out there each made of different decision which led to different path. You might be a fire fighter in one of those world, maybe a leader, a criminal, a teacher, a hero, an actor,..religious or anti-religion.
I am watching this TV series called "FRINGE" which is based on this hypothesis. One of the main character of this film is a genius called Dr Bishop, he made a gate to the other world when his son died. He made that door to go to another reality which his son was still alive and bring him back to his world. I am fascinated with this idea.

I want that gate, I'll come for you all and bring you back..things would have been so much different!

Address to The Haggis

Yesterday was a Robert Burns day. A memorial of this famous Scottish poet. I have a very nice Scottish colleague who told me how they celebrate the day. A family prepare a meal called Haggis and a person who serve the meal read the famous poem of Robert Burn's called " Address to The Haggis". He read the poem for us in its original format. I couldn't understand a word of it but I was amazed with his performance. The way he read it I could felt the excitement in his voice remind me of my father when reading "Hafiz" poems for us.
P.S. a picture is from here

I JUST WANT YOU

There are no unlockable doors
There are no unwinnable wars
There are no unrightable wrongs
Or unsingable songs
There are no unbeatable odds
There are no believable Gods
There are no unnameable names
Shall I say it agin? Yeah
There are no impossible dreams
There are no invisible seams
Each night when the day is through
I don't ask much

I just want you
I just want you

There are no uncriminal crimes
There are no unrhymeable rhymes
There are no identical twins or
Forgiveable sins
There are no incurable ills
There are no unkillable thrills
One thing and you know it's true
I don't ask much

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired
I used to go to bed so high and wired
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
I think I'll buy myself some plastic water
I guess I should have married Lennon's daughter
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

There are no unachievable goals
There are no unsavable souls
No legitimate kings or queens
Do you know what I mean? Yeah
There are no indisputable truths
And there ain't no fountain of youth
Each night when the day is through
I don't ask much

"I NEED TO KNOW IF THERE IS A LIFE AFTER DEATH AND I NEED TO KNOW KIND OF SOON"

P.S. From the : "Strange and beautiful" website

Immortal Jelly

There is a species of jellyfish which is able to go back in time and become young again. Read this:

"This species of jellyfish might be the only animal in the world to have truly discovered the fountain of youth. Since it is capable of cycling from a mature adult stage to an immature polyp stage and back again, there may be no natural limit to its life span. Because they are able to bypass death, the number of individuals is spiking. "We are looking at a worldwide silent invasion," says Dr. Maria Miglietta of the Smithsonian Tropical Marine Institute."

I wonder if the jelly has any memory of its previous life? If it would happen for humans imagine your parents got older sooner and then go back to their childhood again and you could see your dad as a little boy call you son/daughter. "No dad you can't have another ice cream", "that's enough mom no more cartoon for today"...

Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee

I shall not be there. I shall rise and pass. Bury my heart at Wounded Knee...
I read this book many years ago. One of the most touching book I've ever read. I Feel like reading it again.

GIRLS TALK

I was 22. Finishing a term of English class which was everyday based. There were two of my classmates (all of the students are females) attract my attention. Every day they kissed and hugged and said nice things to each other like: "I missed you so much" and that so much missing refered to 24 hours that they didn't see each other. To me they should have been very close friends and probably knew each other for a good deal of time. One day one of these love birds didn't come and she didn't show up the day after and the day after so at the end of the day 4th  teacher naturally looked at the other love bird and asked about her friend where abouts. She simply shrugged and said: "I don't know!". "  "Well would you please call her?" teacher asked surprised by her indifferent reaction. "I don't have her phone number". She replied.  "We can find her number from 118" (which is equal to 411 here in Canada) I said. "I don't know her last name". Right on that moment I was thinking about all those hugging, kissing, missing you so much scenarios everyday between those two but there even didn't know their last names. I was thinking what was with the freak show then.

I still have this question in my mind when I am seeing my female friends or acquaintances who just met or know each other for a short time and behave like they are friends of 100 years. This is different from being friendly this is more of a show. This is not like really care about each other this is simply is a fake show. The moment one of them is in trouble all those sweet words and hugging and kissing turns to indifferent behavior and things like "I didn't really know her". God I dislike these things.

Do men do the same?

Have you ever experienced that you are in a small group of female friends (I assume I am talking to girl mostly in this post) and suddenly for no reasons  two or three of them start bounding by speaking in a way that you can't participate. You feel you are being  pushed very delicately out of the circle. You watched them laughing, giggling talking in low voice like this is the most important secret of all. It's like a wave come and go and never last. Over an hour things might change and one of those who was trying to push you out , pushed out herself. It is nothing deep and not really bold enough that you can put finger on it. It's like a secret language between girls, you know, I know but we don't talk about it. We just play...God I dislike these things. I think this is a girly way to gain power and control..More people you bound with, more power and more control you have..But the things is this is not real power to me because the bounding is happening over a short period of time.

I learn one things if I have a friend that over and over again sending negative energy to me, if I have a friend that taking away my piece by playing and not being real, that person is not my friend. I want real things, when smiling at me, means that ..when you are upset show it to me..Aren't we girls complicated?..DON'T PLAY JUST DON'T

Happy new year

We are in san diego, warm, sunny, and green. Blue pacific ocean with lazy seals laying along the shore, these tropical trees, and green ground are all haunting me. I am watching the news about snow strom happening at east part of the continent, burying cars, holding travelers in airports. I am not going back, I like it here :).
P.S. A picture is a Santa at the end of the Disney Parade 

FRIENDSHIP

Friendship can be simply made but to maintain the healthy relationship one need to make an effort all the time. It's a dynamic relationship. I am a friendly person myself I can easily initiate, also I'm easy to approach (well most of the time I guess). When you are making friends depends on the level of chemistry, similarities and harmony between the two persons involved that relationship can get closer or fail (obviously). I usually take my time to get to know people better before getting very close. Simply because as I get closer and closer I become attached emotionally. Thus if for any reasons after getting close the relationship doesn't work I'll get hurt. However you can never tell how much your relationship would work until you get close.

I think the best way to have a healthy relationship is:
1- try not to analyze/ interpret every details of your friends saying or actions (he said this so he means that, she did that so she meant this...this things just annoy you and lessen the joy of your friendship...I think women are more liable of doing too much analyzing ).
2- Another way is to be aware of your expectations; as we get closer automatically our expectations get higher. Some of those expectations might be absolutely unreasonable but because emotions get involved it's hard to control them.
3- Be liberal; don't try to own your friend simply accept that you friend has other friends and she/he can enjoy their friendship as much without making your friendship less valuable.
4- Try to keep the balance. If you are the type that caring and devoting a lot in your relationship there is a good chance that you end up disappointed. If you are the type that your friends mostly benefited you rather than you  caring about them there is a good chance you will be cut off at some point and loose them.

As time passes you might upgrade, downgrade or delete your relationship; the last two are never easy.
There are few people in my life that I deleted or downgraded them for different reasons. The one that became possessive and controlling (rule#3), the one who was enjoying the free ride (rule#4), or the one who became weirdly needy (rule #2).

Life is too short , have an ice cream ;)

P.S.: A picture from here

...A human is a human being..

In my 30 years of life I learned one things "a human is a human being". No matter how far we go, how hard we try to make a polish image of ourselves, at the end of a day we are simple naked ape with all instincts that other animals have: food, territory, mating, survival.. No matter how hard we try to show ourselves as saint or a bully we all have that naked ape inside, smiling at us.
I knew a girle, educated and from a good family who was in love with a skinny unemployed heroine addicted man for 3 years till the man die of overdose and a police found his body in a ditch.
I knew a successful businessman who had a lovely girlfriend for two years until that lovely girl realized he had a wife.  
I knew a girl who was cheating on her husband for 6 years ; all of their close friends and her family knew about it until someone voluntiered to let the poor husband knew.
I knew a man who had a sex-addicted wife, slept with many of his cousins and he has no clue.
I knew a highly educated boy, funny, smart and sporty who one day for no reason decided to kiss a random girl's boobies in an elevator.
I've been surprised in a positive or negative way by people around me. I am sure all of us has some similar stories. At some point in my life I realized that I could never be able to know someone good enough so that he/she would never surprise me. At some point in my life I stopped making a certain image of people I meet in my life. I told to my self "a human is a human" and anyone can do anything. But to tell you the truth still I am being surprised once in a while. Then I am reminding myself "Hiva, a human is a human being".
You might be be surprised one day even by yourself.

Late Night Thoughts

Sometimes I feel I am a leaf that strong wind drags me here and there. I can't stop it, I can't cling on anything; my hands are too slippery. I am just flying with this wind. Sometimes work takes over my life, from dawn to dusk. Right then I feel like being drown. Feel like a paralyzed person who can't stop and watch the flock of birds migrating and dream a little bit. Is it because I am a woman? Is it because I am Hiva?
I love working, I love being independent but you have to pay the price your freedom!
I love blogging and the fact that the gap between each post getting bigger and bigger upsets me. While working I am watching people around me and imagine writing about this and that incidents in here. When I am home I just can't put myself together to write. Blogging for me is Like praying..mediation..reviewing my day, reviewing my feeling..being honest with myself and spit it out in here..
List of things in my head...defense, car light engine which has been on forever, my family I haven't seen them more than a year...etc
Life is too short..I can live with a Mazda which its gas consumption is more that a SUV but I can't live without having my family in real term..something more than a voice through few phone calls or few photos through emails. I need a practical solution.

Field Experience and Extras ;)

Today I am off but I have to work this weekend. I was working last Saturday too. We were drilling a borehole on one of the main street in Toronto city. When you are working on a road here, you have to be accompanied with traffic guys and a police officer for safety issue. I love this part, making aquintence with different poeple. In general drilling one borehole on a road means a team of drillers, engineers, trafiic guys and a police officer working together.
Some people pass with curiosity in their eyes, looking at the giant drilling rig with admiration or amazement. Some even come close and ask questions about what is going on. One time there were 3 lovely kids about 6-year old I think, with their mom. They were so amazed by the all thing that finally their mom ask me to explain for them what was going on. They were actually asked me serious questions for a 6-year old. Some people just pass totally indifferent like the giant rig which make lots of noises doesn't even exist.
There was one time that heavy rain started and finally after I got soaked to my skin I remember that I have umbrella. I brought my giant golf umbrella (no I don't play golf) and 3 of us including one of the drillers, a funny traffic guy and me sheltered under. There were quit gentleman and hold the umbrella. Right on that moment I was thinking I would never imagine standing under a giant umbrella soaked to the skin and chatting with a toothless traffic guy in orange uniform about my life story.

Man mucham

When I was a kid there was this phrase that we used a lot "Man mucham" which was a childish slang for "I am out of the game for few minutes". Basically we used this phrase during a play when we needed to use a bathroom or we needed to tighten the loose shoe lace, or any kind of excuses. Back then no matter how hot the game was, no matter if we were at the peak of the serious game while someone said "man mucham" everybody give him/her a break.
These days I wish I could use this phrase in my real, grown up world. Hey everybody I know we are dealing with serious contract deadline, I know everyday is gold and we have no time to loose. I know we are talking about big big money but you know what "man mucham". I need to come out of this play, go home and hug my mom so tight , I need to go home and drown myself in my dad's arm. I miss my sisters, my brother, my niece, my home. I miss being their child.
I miss you guys, I really miss you..you have no idea

Getting There Soon

It's been more than a month since I wrote in here. I am busy working, commuting, trying to graduate :D. I finalized my thesis. I applied all the comments from my supervisors. Now I am going to make 7 copies and mail to the dean of graduate office at MUN.

I should confess it took me so long because I was too lazy to keep my "A.." on the chair in the weekend and do the final touch. When you work full time it's just not easy to spend more time working behind your desk at home. believe me!

I love my job that's a good news. I do like my colleges of course everywhere there are some weirdos or jerks but as far as nice people dominants I'm happy. Summer is ending and I am still waiting for my parents to apply for visa which I have a feeling they won't just like last two summers. I missed my family GOD know how much and I can't just go and visit them anytime I want anymore. Unless I quite which is not that likely ;)

Nima is downstairs right now watching TV waiting for me to join him to prepare delicious dinner. What do we have for dinner? Well we are going to bake 1 lbs Halibut Fillet and cooked some rice spiced up with dills.
Bon Appetit :D (ok I confess we just watched this movies, July and Juliet, last night).